Giving The Ultimate Blow Job! -continues . . . . .
Ask Dr. Lori - Sex and Intimacy Advice
Dr. Lori is a licensed clinical psychologist and an American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) certified sex therapist. We know that there are a lot of people who have questions about all kinds of sexual things, so we teamed up with Dr. Lori to answer your questions. Send us your questions and we will post Dr. Lori's answer here. Please allow 2 to 3 weeks.
Q:

Hello Dr. Lori
I am a 33 year old sexually frustrated man. My girlfriend and I live together with our 3 year old, but our sex life has no life any more. Can you tell me how to can get the spark back in the bed room? Thanks,
DB

Dr. Lori's Answer:

DB
It’s not uncommon for sexual activity to decline after the birth of a child. Parenting is hard work. Also, keep in mind that some women feel insecure about their bodies after giving birth. It’s probably time to take your girlfriend to a nice dinner and a hotel where she can feel like a woman and take a break from being a mom. You might also want to try some of the things you used to do to seduce her at the beginning of the relationship. Kisses on the neck, flowers, and phone calls to tell her you love her can work wonders. And changing a diaper or two couldn’t hurt. To get the spark back, start slowly and spend a lot of time giving your partner pleasure without the pressure to reciprocate or have intercourse. Watch a better sex video together to get some new ideas (I recommend the new Better Sex Video Series). Then try adding a fantasy or adult sex toy into your sex play. Your girlfriend will soon be wanting sex as much as you do.
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2) Make noises like "mmmmm" or moan when you take it into your mouth. He will feel like he is a yummy lollipop as you slurp his love muscle. He is thinking to himself, "Oh she just loves my cock," and this excites him unbelievably. Remember,
you are sucking his EGO.

3) Get it WET. Most men LOVE sloppy slurpy juicy blowjobs. The saliva heats up with friction and is a real turn on for the man.

4) Stroke his balls, but do this carefully. I love men who shave down there because the softness of their skin is such a turn on to me. Also, licking is more fun and sucking balls that are shaved is HOT!!

5) Create a good suction and pop his cock in and out of your mouth. On circumcised men (more common in America than anywhere in the world) the lip of the helmet is sensitive and some men just go wild when you flip this lip as if you could tip it off his shaft. This is a technique that many don't know about, but it drives men nuts. The part that is most sensitive is the part underneath where the shaft meets the head and causes a valley up the head to the pee hole. Flick this spot in an upward motion with your rigid tongue and cup the rest of the head with your mouth and lips, sucking at the same time. Then plunge his cock down your throat while tonguing his shaft  wildly, creating suction as if it is stuck to the roof of your mouth. Any time you can suck then tongue then suck, you can get incredible results and moans from your man. (They are usually looking up at the heavens by this time <snicker>)
6) Let him watch as you master his cock (ego). If you are lying on the bed between his legs, or if he is standing looking down, he is intently watching you. Use one hand to stroke his tummy, balls, up and down his legs, thighs, nipples, and hold his cock with the other hand so you can guide it carefully away from your back teeth. Guys, who pull your hand away, sometimes regret it because they don't realize you are keeping his precious head from those sharp grinders in the back of your mouth. If they've pulled your hand away though, it might be an indication that you were squeezing too hard, or that he wants you to take his cock deeper into your mouth, especially if he is small (4" or less) and your hand takes up most of the length of the shaft. Going all the way down is incredibly pleasurable for the man to see his cock disappear (as if down your throat).
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7) One time I was with some bi men and was watching how they sucked each other, and one technique I had never tried is to start at the tip and spiral down to the bottom of the shaft. Twist your head and mouth as you go down. Apparently this feels great for the man. Go all the way down. If he is too long for you to do this, go as far as you are comfortable with going. The gag reflex kicks in when you go too far but you can circumvent that reflex with practice in opening up your lower throat. I love to be able to get ten inches down my throat. <wicked grin> Who doesn't??? (We know where it eventually ends up don't we?? Hee hee hee).

8) Suck his balls. Men don't usually get a lot of attention to their balls because most women think they'll hurt them. But if you gently stroke them and suck them by taking one into your mouth at a time, tonguing it then moving to the other one, you will see how much enjoyment is derived from this attention. Then use your tongue horizontally up the vein of the cock and feel him gasp when you again, suck the head into your mouth.

9)Don't forget to use your tongue a lot. The flicking and wagging of your tongue using good pressure is very pleasurable. Try twirling it around the head one way, than the
other way. Again, this will bring gasps and moans.

10) I recently discovered how much fun playing with an uncircumcised cock is. All that skin is fun to suck on and lightly chew on. Most men who are uncut are extremely sensitive when you expose his penis by pushing the skin all the way down and holding it down to suck him (but be careful here as some can find this painful). You have to ask the man which he prefers. Exposed or unexposed. And leaving the skin up makes it a little difficult to create and maintain a good suction, but it is much easier doing the up and down motion with gliding smoothness. Sometimes I try to leave the skin up and stick my tongue between the outer skin and see how far down I can slide my tongue in before the skin folds back with my motion. Pressure is important too. Squeezing with your lips as you move up and down is VERY  important. Consistent pressure evenly squeezing with a hand and lips is usually what makes him cum.

11) Another little trick that makes my men gasp with pleasure is when I use my teeth ever so gently on the cap of the penis. Be sure there is a lot of saliva for gliding your teeth on. I start out by having my teeth clenched together at the tip of the penis. Then as I glide down the cap I slowly open my jaws. My lips are closed around the shaft as my head moves downward. Then I flick my tongue as my teeth give way and cause a suction with it. This sensation seems to bring a new experience to each recipient and usually elicits some comment like. "My God, where did you learn that??"

12) And last but not least, swallowing cum. I have asked men which they prefer. A woman swallowing his cum or him jacking off in the last seconds before he cums, onto her breasts, ass or whatever. Many men grew up watching porn and in all porn, pulling out of the mouth and other orifices is the norm, so the viewer can see the glorious "cum shot." As a result, many men associate an awesome orgasm with pulling out and cumming on her breasts, face, tummy or ass as he strokes. It is a turn on to see the fruits of your labor for sure, or feel the warm love juice on your breasts. And it's especially nice when the man then goes and gets a warm washcloth, and cleans you up after that. That is a return compliment. But most will say they want you to swallow. Of the top 5 questions MOST asked by guys online, "Do you swallow?" is one of the most asked questions. This is because if you remember in the beginning, my first point was; a man's ego lives in his penis. If  you swallow his ambrosia, his EGO is given the ULTIMATE compliment.

After he cums in your mouth, slowly pull away and leave the penis alone now. It is painfully sensitive and can't bare any more attention for a few minutes. A nice warm washcloth placed on his shaft and scrotum feel lovely to him as well, while he is resting and recuperating.

You are now equipped with some knowledge of how to pleasure your partner in ways he might not be familiar. Listen to the noises he makes and be acutely aware of what makes him happy. If you want to make him cum as opposed to just warming him up for hours of pleasure, just remember these 5 things: Patience plus passion plus proper pressure plus variety of moves plus swallowing his cum is going to get your  man to tell you that you give the ULTIMATE blow-job.
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